You know how you hear a song because it reminds you of this person and then you keep trying to find them in sad love songs only to say “hold on, I don’t feel that way about this person” and then you realise you’re over them. Is this what they call music therapy?
I don’t really know what prompted it, whether it pre-empted me or whether I started down that track but when I left Europe, Spotify started suggesting sad love song play lists.
It might have been that one Lana Del Rey song that I listened to but don’t put me in a box Spotify! I don’t need your labels.
Anyway through whatever rabbit hole I went down, I came across Call Out My Name by the Weeknd:
We found each other
I helped you out of a broken place
You gave me comfort
But falling for you was my mistake
That whole opener was us; that hit me in the feels real hard.
I caught feelings.
So naturally I kept going down that track and before I knew it, I’m listening to everything else The Weeknd sings about and start to read too much into every goddamn song.
I keep looking for her in them, the words to express how I feel. Not to express them to her but to make sense of what I am feeling. Everything inside of me is just a tangled knotted mess and these lyrics were teasing them out of me. Reverberating off all the right threads and yanking on them with such force it actually made me pay attention to the lyrics.
As I listen carefully I realise that he’s basically singing about strippers all the time.
What the fuck?
I’m pining over someone who has the qualities of a stripper apparently.
I should probably re-evaluate who I get attached to.
Stripper or no stripper, I’ll tire of these songs soon and someone else will come along and maybe, just maybe, Spotify will start playing some happier songs.